I just can't help myself
Seriously, I will post on something other than the vapidity of some conservative pundits and their holier-than-the-frayed-crotch-of-my-oldest-pair-of-boxer-shorts arguments very soon, but for now...
Does the editorial staff of National Review honestly think it helps their cause to host an article entitled "Book Your Plane to Israel"? "Come on over! The weather's great this time of year, beaches are beautiful! Oh, sure, there's some sort of squabble going on up north, but ... wait, wait, I've just received a message from the NRO's staff: 'Terrorism threatens Israel's very existence; it's a very dangerous place to be; talk of proportionality is Orwellian doublespeak; why did Hezbollah have to cause the destruction of Qana (if it even happened)?' Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry, apparently I contradicted official agitprop! I will now cut off my left hand as a sign of atonement to my NRO masters."
Reminds me of all the people standing in line to visit Lebanon. Oh wait...
But wait--the author realizes the danger of visiting Israel, or anywhere else in the world for that matter. After all, "The next train, plane, or bus you step into anywhere in the world may in a split second become territory claimed by the Middle East." The Middle East. Uh-huh. "Ladies and gentlemen of American Airlines flight 3814, hello, my name is Khalid, I'll be hijacking your plane today on behalf of the entire Middle East. I have a letter here signed by the governments of Yemen, Jordan, Kuwait, the United Arab Emirates...Wait a minute, where the fuck is Bahrain on this list? I mean I know they're just a tiny island, but this is supposed to be a team effort, Allahdammit! Yeah, yeah, they raised the most money at dance marathon, but seriously, bros, not cool! You totally owe me for that Turkish coffee-chugging contest during rush. If I weren't detonating the C4 in the heels of my shoes in about three minutes I'd have your charter revoked in a second!"
Not to mention that if I were some hapless Syrian schmoe my ass would be afraid my house would "in a split second become territory claimed" by the United States.
Does the editorial staff of National Review honestly think it helps their cause to host an article entitled "Book Your Plane to Israel"? "Come on over! The weather's great this time of year, beaches are beautiful! Oh, sure, there's some sort of squabble going on up north, but ... wait, wait, I've just received a message from the NRO's staff: 'Terrorism threatens Israel's very existence; it's a very dangerous place to be; talk of proportionality is Orwellian doublespeak; why did Hezbollah have to cause the destruction of Qana (if it even happened)?' Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry, apparently I contradicted official agitprop! I will now cut off my left hand as a sign of atonement to my NRO masters."
Reminds me of all the people standing in line to visit Lebanon. Oh wait...
But wait--the author realizes the danger of visiting Israel, or anywhere else in the world for that matter. After all, "The next train, plane, or bus you step into anywhere in the world may in a split second become territory claimed by the Middle East." The Middle East. Uh-huh. "Ladies and gentlemen of American Airlines flight 3814, hello, my name is Khalid, I'll be hijacking your plane today on behalf of the entire Middle East. I have a letter here signed by the governments of Yemen, Jordan, Kuwait, the United Arab Emirates...Wait a minute, where the fuck is Bahrain on this list? I mean I know they're just a tiny island, but this is supposed to be a team effort, Allahdammit! Yeah, yeah, they raised the most money at dance marathon, but seriously, bros, not cool! You totally owe me for that Turkish coffee-chugging contest during rush. If I weren't detonating the C4 in the heels of my shoes in about three minutes I'd have your charter revoked in a second!"
Not to mention that if I were some hapless Syrian schmoe my ass would be afraid my house would "in a split second become territory claimed" by the United States.
posted by to scranton at 7:48 PM
4 Comments:
Kushakov and I were just talking about the need for the dionysian here at washav.
If you want more dionysos, "know thyself" is my best advice. In other words, you gotta bring it, because you know I'm about the most Apolline mother you know.
Ah, but if we look in the original manuscript, it seems that you are actually the most "Apelline mother you know" referencing the artist Apelles, not the god Apollo
Well, you did try to eat those trompe l'oeil grapes I drew that one time...
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