Tuesday, January 23, 2007

This Would Never Happen with Southwest

If you spend many hours per day on the computer (like most of the Huffy Crew indeed do) than you’ve probably heard about how Northwest Airlines declared for bankruptcy and fired thousands of workers this past July.

What made this story so internet-appealing is that NWA handed out laughable pamphlets, titled “101 Ways to Save Money,” to its recently laid-off workers. (On a side note, it’s darn cute how NWA came up with such a fun number, like 101, for their helpful hints.)

The list ranges from the intelligence-insulting (48. Move to a less expensive place to live), to the life-style-insulting (14. Quit smoking), to the absurd (19. Write letters instead of calling), to the I-forgot-this-company-just-fired-you (53. Bicycle to work.). Here are the rest of the highlights:

6. Do your own nails.

7. Rent out a room or garage.

12. Buy spare parts for your car at a junkyard.

13. Go to museums on free days.

15. Get hand-me-down clothes and toys for your kids from family and friends.

16. Meet friends for coffee instead of dinner.

21. Make your own baby food.

24. Buy old furniture at yard sales and refinish it yourself.

30. Share housing with a friend or family member.

37. Take a date for a walk along the beach or in the woods.

38. Make cards and gifts for friends.

39. Shop in thrift stores.

56. Borrow a dress for a big night out, or go to a consignment shop.

70. Cut your cable television down to basic.

85. Grow your own vegetables and herbs.

87. Donate time instead of money to religious organizations and charities.

89. Shop at auctions or pawn shops for jewelry and antiques.

92. Trade in old books, records, and CDs at book and record exchanges.

95. Search the internet for freebies.

96. Compost to make your own fertilizer.

98. Cut the kids hair yourself.

But by far, the most insane piece of advice has to be number 46:

Don't be shy about pulling something you like out of the trash.

“Mom, whats for dinner?”

“I hope you kids like… apple cores and band-aids”


Blogger kushakov said...

My grandmother's geriatry must be rubbing off on me... Am I the only one who thought, for a second, that Niggers With Attitude had embarked upon a laughable pampleteering campaign?

10:06 PM  
Blogger Scantron said...

...Niggaz With Attitude, actually. This distinction is, while semantically negligible, lexically crucial. (Thanks intro linguistics course!)

11:49 PM  
Blogger kushakov said...

Indeed, yes, "the knowledge is growin just like a fetus or a tumor, but here is the rumor [kushakov] is in the neighborhood and he's up to no good When I start expressin myself, Yella, slam it Cause if I stay funky like this I'm doin damage Or I'ma be too hyped, and need a straight jacket I got knowledge, and other suckers lack it."

12:07 AM  
Blogger Scantron said...

Kushakov, you're expressing yourself with your full capabilities, but just don't end up in correctional facilities.

1:54 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home