Israel: The Axis of non-nearsighted Jews with a nuclear chip on their shoulder

When I was a sophomore at Community High School in Ann Arbor I took part in an interesting experiment: I enrolled in a class in which we used the internet to model relations between the major stakeholders in the Israeli-Palestinean conflict. I was to play the role of Mohammed Khatami, the recently elected, progressive president of Iran. At that time I didn't take the project seriously at all, and I engineered an attempt at restarting the war between Iran and Iraq with the help of my friend Greg Wilbur, who played the role of Ayatollah Khamenei. I think it ran into some difficulties with the authorities running the project, who suggested that we act more 'realistically' and take the game more seriously. I pretended to do so in order to get an 'A' in the class, but still attempted to slight the bastard infidel Iraqis whenever possible.
The ironic aspect was, of course, that Khatami was the most reasonable president Iran has ever had. He advocated peace and attempted to normalize relations with the outside world, although this was largely thwarted by Ayatollah Mohammed Mutha-Fuka Khamenei. The president can't do shit in Iran unless the Man (AKA religious fundamentalist wackjob mothafuckaz) says he can. Thus, no shit was really undertaken.
I was hoping some sort of progress in the most recent election, but that was not to be. The religious leaders prevented a lot of more moderate people from running and the fact that Khatami had been largely ineffectual because of the Man's influence meant that the people felt they needed to elect someone that could work with the religious fruitcakes in charge. But instead of doing that, they elected Ahmidinejad, who is a bigger fucking wackjob than the other guys. In addition to denying the holocaust and threatening Israel, he likes to spend his time masturbating to pictures of Mohammed's* wife and failing on his election promise to replace the mafia at the head of the Iranian Oil Ministry by going through three nominees before choosing the old second-in-command. What an amazing man.
All of this Fruchterish blabbing and plagiarizing isn't not not for nothing. I'm here today to tell you that major shit is going to go down in Iran if they don't back the fuck up. Why, you might ask? The jews are pissed, that's why. Just like Josh hates it when a guy robs a jewish bank, the Israelites don't like it when you assert your country's Allah given right to nuclear powered weapons. Israel is preparing to fuck up Iran if we don't stop them from getting nukes:

If a military operation is approved, Israel will use air and ground forces against several nuclear targets in the hope of stalling Tehran’s nuclear programme for years, according to Israeli military sources.

This is going to be fucking awesome. Josh, Ben, or Robot: tell the elders of Zion I'm ready to assist in any way.

*Mohammed: King of the Mohammedans.