Revolting

“Rod and I wake up every morning like, ‘I can’t believe we get to be together,’ ” she said. “We are touching 24 hours a day.”

Mr. Yee added: “It makes people sick. People are like, ‘Can you please not be so in love? Can you hide it?’ No, we can’t hide it.”

I want ewe to want me

This is ridiculous--for some reason it popped up as a gmail advertisement. I hope they're making money, it would mean good things for America.

John B., Reviewer

From a review of a local Potbelly Sandwich Works:

The free cookies here really cheered me up on an otherwise depressing day. They are in a basket at the cash-register, sugar cookies and chocolate chip...while my ex-girlfriend paid for her vegetarian sandwhich I pocketed about two whole cookies-worth (they come in slices). The cook saw me, but the cashier didn't, and since he was running the place, it was all gravy. Pink Floyd's "Dark Side of the Moon" came on over the muzak and the cook winked at me. Suddenly, things were going my way again. My ex-girlfriend started choking on her sandwhich, on the way out, which I didn't understand, since it was only made of vegetables, but what did I ever understand about her, or vegetables, in the first place? Some day I will come back to Potbelly's to buy a sandwhich...until then I will remember its feel-good atmosphere.

Update:
Thanks to Mardre for providing a link to this guy's profile. After reading his reviews for a half hour, I really feel enlivened and enlightened. This guy has a Mainesque writing style and a lot of time on his hands that he spends thoughtfully. It's a rare man that can contribute this much to society without doing much of anything at all.