Monday, September 25, 2006

To the Sheriff, re: Scimitar watch

From today's Victor Davis Hanson column:

"True, bin Laden’s mythical Volk doesn’t bath in the clear icy waters of the Rhine untouched by the filth of the Tiber; but rather they ride horses and slice the wind with their scimitars in service of a soon to be reborn majestic world of caliphs and mullahs."

Wherein we get the double whammy of the "Arab=Jew on horseback" scenario and the scimitar slicing.

From CNN.com, about a "Jihad auto dealer commercial":

"The Council on American-Islamic Relations Sunday had complained publicly about plans for a commercial it said would have proclaimed a 'jihad' on the U.S. auto market, offering 'Fatwa Fridays' with sales representatives giving play swords to children."

This shit writes itself.

3 Comments:

Blogger The Sheriff said...

My head just exploded

7:22 PM  
Blogger Scantron said...

(The Scene: a cave on the Afghanistan/Pakistan border. Osama bin Laden and his al-Qaeda henchmen sit around a table, examining their diabolical plans.)

bin Laden: So, once I fully recover from this water-borne illness, we release another videotape to the infidel media. At this point two of our brothers in Yemen will take this dossier to our contacts in--

Henchman #1: ...

bin Laden: Ali, is there something you want to share with the group?

Ali: No, it's nothing.

bin Laden: Come on, we're all friends here, you can tell us.

Ali: Well, it's just...it's just...I want to ride my horse!

(Affirmative murmurings from the group.)

bin Laden: You what?

Ali: My horse. I want to ride it.

bin Laden: You'll get your turn to ride your horse, Ali, now be quiet and wait.

Henchman #2: Well, I want to slice the wind with my scimitar!

bin Laden: Ayman, we'll get to that, now everyone shut up!

Ayman: But I want my scimitar!

Voice from the group: For Allah's sake, someone give him a scimitar to play with.

Ayman: I don't want someone else's scimitar! I want MY scimitar, Osama! MY scimitar!

Ali: Yeah, what gives you the damn right to keep our scimitars piled up in your warchest, Osama?

bin Laden: Ali! I'm surprised at you!

Ali: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I'm really very sorry...I just forgot.

Ayman: Osama? I asked you a question!

bin Laden: I heard your question, Ayman, and I will answer it when you've calmed down. Are you calm, Ayman?

Ayman: I'm calm.

bin Laden: Good. Now as you all know, brother Sulaiman was running a small racket of horses and scimitars. Most of you lost all your horses and scimitars to Sulaiman, and that's why your stable privileges have been suspended, and your scimitars rationed. If you had obeyed the rules in the first place, you wouldn't have lost your scimitars.

Ayman: Piss on your fucking rules, Osama!

Voice: Sit down, will you Ayman?

Ayman: I want you to know something right here and now, Osama! I ain't no little kid! I ain't no little kid--

Osama: You sit down!

Ayman: --Where you're going to have scimitars kept from me like cookies! And I want something done! I want something done! I want something done!

(bin Laden's bodyguards enter and forcefully subdue Ayman, who is carried off screaming "I won't go! I don't wanna go!")

1:58 AM  
Blogger The Sheriff said...

Jihad auto dealers...the culture industry truly is pornographic and prudish

8:42 PM  

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