Thursday, June 15, 2006

What has Bolivarism ever done for me?

I never expected Bolivarism to benefit me or anyone else in the Northern (or Southern, actually) hemisphere. And yet it has provided something that I would have killed for at some times during the last year: Fart-free beans.
The team of scientists from Simon Bolivar University in the capital of Caracas said they have discovered a way to remove the agents in beans that cause gas.The process also increases the legume's nutritional value by 97 percent, the scientists said.
We can only hope and pray that Senor Chavez allows them to be exported. He is such a benevolent man that I'm sure he will help us all. The only thing we need now is a lactase patch.


Blogger Scantron said...

Other "x-free y's" I could use, while the Bolivarians are at it:

-Asian food which will not permeate from your pores up to 3 days after eating it.

-Phish concerts largely free of all of those in attendance.


-The Isaiah Berlin book I'm reading free of the unnameable excruciating element in it that makes me want to do nasty things to a small, helpless puppy.

5:17 PM  
Blogger The Sheriff said...

Poop free food.

5:42 PM  
Blogger Robot said...

This is great news, and should settle our debate over Chavez once and for all.

12:11 AM  

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