Monday, December 19, 2005

The Rules of Washav.Blogspot.com

(If you are unconvinced of any of these rules then picture a shirtless, sweaty Brad Pitt explianing these to you. It is futile to resisit.)




1st RULE: You do not ever remove a blog posting.
2nd RULE: You DO NOT ever remove a BLOG POSTING.
3rd RULE: If someone says "stop," goes limp, or concedes an intellectual argument the blog-battle is over.
4th RULE: Only two guys to a blog-battle (aka. No girls… they blog on emotion as opposed to ration).
5th RULE: One intangible concept criticized at a time.
6th RULE: No shirts, no shoes, no blogging. We require proper attire at this blog.
7th RULE: Blog-Battles will go on as long as they have to.
8th RULE: If this is your first time on washav.blogspot, you HAVE to post.
9th RULE: Fuck all of the god-damn hippies that are making fellow bloggers retract their postings. (I HATE hippies! I’ll kill you all!) You granola-eating crunchies are no better than the pathetic, family-values-supporting, sexually starved Middle Americans who write letters to CBS because they felt uncomfortable with the gross sexual content on the latest episode of “Becker.” My advice to those people: CHANGE THE FUCKING CHANNEL!!!


My advice to anyone who gets offended by shit on this blog: GO TO A DIFFERENT FUCKING WEBSITE! There are plenty of sites on the world wide web that will only agree with the views that you support. Go there and cry with the other pussies. This way you can be happy! Oh, and fuck you, you dirty hippies! Take a bath and get a fucking job! (God I hate hippies! Especially the college-know-it-all hippies. They are the worst!)


But seriously, if you get offended easily, you have no place here. We present a diverse marketplace of ideas. If you hate us then you hate diversity and you are a racist.

10 Comments:

Blogger shrf said...

They hate us for our freedom.

Also, regarding rule 5, what if the intangible concept being criticized is underpinned by a deeper metaphysical or epistemological foundation?

5:40 PM  
Blogger Biz said...

I know this whole blog is a joke and that most of what is said here is neither asserted as truth nor reflective of the opinion of its author. But I think some people may have some misconceptions about me as a result of believing to be true some things written here - so I want to make clear the following:
I was never offended by anything written on this blog. I have never requested any apologies or retractions for something said, nor do I think anyone should ever have to remove any of their posts.

4:01 AM  
Blogger Austin 5-000 said...

I would like to let all of you know about an upcoming "blog-test" (rhymes with contest). The first person to use the word "nugatory" in a post can receive my nuts on their face for free. Ooowee!

7:53 AM  
Blogger Biz said...

Quick point: just because someone complains about personal attacks does not mean that such attacks were actually made.

5:51 PM  
Blogger Austin 5-000 said...

As long as we are venting our personal anger with one another, I would like to say that this argument has the appearance of an 8th grade IM war. I've never participated in one of those, nor seen one. But I can only say that our current material existence seems to have deprived us of our ability to confront ourselves or others as subjects. The means of production(i.e. blog/IM) and the professor/bourgouis--student/proletariat relationship has lead us to a mental state where we cannot find ourselves. The tools we have used to recreate ourselves in the material world as Homo Faber(the tool user) have remade us in their own image. The blogosphere/interweb has passed a sort of reverse Turin Test: instead of convincing us that it is sentient, it has deprived us of our own sentience and thus prevented us from engaging in organic relationships with either the self or the other. The master-slave dialectic has been transformed into a clash between our digital avatars- -which can only result in a spiral of indeterminacy. Only the robots in iraq can save us now.... if we can only get them to free Saddam.

8:01 PM  
Blogger Biz said...

Thank God!

9:26 PM  
Blogger Robot said...

I claim all publishing rights to the posthumously released, "I've got two Fightix to Paradise: an Anthology of Letters, Musings, and Blog Posts." Your name will indeed live on long after your death, and I will reap the financial benefits of it, at long last able to support a vast and powerful paramilitary force to crush the attempted Proletariat Revolution when it happens. Famous indeed!

9:58 PM  
Blogger shrf said...

Marxism _is_ a lover's philosophy. I'm trying to think of how deena made me a marxist, maybe just for the sake of thinking about it, and the only even remotely possible explanation has to do with my wallet. Perhaps though, its because when we first met all that was solid melted into air.

12:09 AM  
Blogger shrf said...

That violates the rules

2:32 AM  
Blogger dchan said...

i like to make out to audiobooks of Das Kapital...it is for this reason that i was able, with increasing effectiveness, to convert sherief to marxism.

12:29 PM  

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